How to get in for free

Everyone likes getting something for nothing and no one likes paying to get into a club. By not paying to get into the club you kill both birds with one stone. You also get a bit extra beer money in your pocket that can be spent on drinking if you dont fancy minesweeping. Plus paying into a club which turns out to be shit is a right kick in the balls. If you dont pay you are pretty much guaranteed a good night because of the buzz you will be on from getting away with getting in for free. That buzz probably wont last forever unless you take a couple of gary’s so if the night does infact turn out shit you wont be arsed because you didnt even pay in the first place. In this day and age there seems to be less and less ways to fight the man. All clubs are run by seedy greasy coked up bastards who drive supercharged Range Rover sports and will probably have a bluetooth headset and Armani sunglasses. Dont feel bad about ripping these people off, the night club owner definetly is the man. The bouncer (sorry, the entry exit technician) is also the man. FIGHT THEM BOTH!

Smoking ban
“The smoking ban was the best thing to ever happen!” Mr R.P Smith, lover of getting stuff for free
One of the best things Brussels has done for us in England is introduce the smoking ban. So now no one can smoke inside a club, boo hoo. Or is it all boo hoo? No it is actually the easiest way to get into a club for free. The smokers congregated outside the entrance are your ticket to the free disco dance floor. Observe, Communicate, Enter. Check out where the entrance is, where the bouncers are, look for what kind of stamp people have on their hands. Befriend a smoker and ask to see the hand markings that the bouncers have dished out. If the stamp is fresh lick it and press it against you hand to try and get a print. This doesn’t often work but give it a shot, you might convince a lady to let you lick her so either way your on a winner. You are now at a cross roads, the either attempt to forge the stamp or just try and shadow some genuine customers in or better yet do both. The stamp forgery route is always alot of fun. If you are prepared you might have some kind of marker pen in your pocket. If you are un prepared you will have to borrow some ladies make up devices such as eyebrow pencils and mascara to do the forgery. Copy the forgery as well as you can. For circles the use of coins to trace around is a good tip. If the forgery is to the standard of Degar himself then go try and get in. If the forgery is shite just smudge it a bit and prepare to blag it a little with the bouncer if he doesnt like the look of it. Sometimes its actually more fun to try and see who can get in with the worst forgery. Latch yourself onto the biggest group of pretty girls you can and act like you own the place and swan in waving your hand at the bouncer just enough to let him think your genuine but not enough for him to see its a fake.
Lets say the club you are going to is acually a big party for the end of the world series of skating or similar? The tickets were meant to cost 25 euros but if you had a vip band you got in for free and got all kinds of priviledges like free drink and bunny girls. In a dark club a pretty crap forged band can usually get you in no questions asked. Find someone with the correct colour band and your half way there. All you need now is a bit of photoshop, maybe a scanner, a printer, some stickyback plastic and alot of cunning.
Lets try this scenario out. Your at a redbull contest and the riders get a host of treats later that night. Free bar, free food and all the women they can handle. You want a piece of the action but lack the correct pass. For some reason there was some exact copies of the passes pinned on the security guards wall to show them what the passes looked like. If a certain someone were to liberate these examples and use them as if they were real passes would that be such a crime? No, of course not.

Mascarar forgery

Jedi Mindtrick
“These are not the droids you are looking for”
When going to enter the disco door infront of the bouners just pretend that you belong inside. The bouncer can smell fear so make sure you are 100% confident. A couple of well placed phrases can often baffle a bouncer. Saying something along the lines of “busy in here isn’t it mate” or “wicked night tonight isnt it reggie” will make the man think that you have already been in and paid the toll. Stubbing out a cigarette in plain view of the bouncer is another sure fire winner. As is being on a phone. As is the drunken stance but dont over do it or you’ll be out.

Nokatomi plaza entrance/Kicking the backdoors through
A little knowledge of a certain venue often goes a long way. Especially if this building is a university building and turns into a party at the weekend. So your going to the cloakroom? You just happen to go through the wrong door and your down some steps and then through another door and bobs your uncle onto the dance floor. There might even be a few vending machines that you can rag to fuck and steal all the precious sweets. Dont be greedy though, give the sweets out to everyone. Or maybe you walk in, go up a lift, the door opens right infront of a bouner, somehow you sneak into the toilet without him collaring you. Best ever is in a fire door, up some steps into a cloak room, blag your way out of there past the cloak room attendants and mission to the dance floor. happy days. If in doubt boot the backdoors through.

Guestlist shadow
Pretty tuff to pull but not impossible. Shadow a group of people who are in the express VIP line to get in. Simply latch onto them and fire the same name they say when the bouncer asks. “I’m Micky’s plus one”

Blag Blag Blag
I’m here to pick up the DJ, I am the DJ, I work here etc. make it up as you go along. Where there is a will there is a way